I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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