you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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