Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
