You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just pee around me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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