your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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