Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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