am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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