Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
