then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
