I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
