how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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