Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do vagina's smell?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i now understand why vodka
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
