butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
