Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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