It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
