If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize