if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
