She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I just sharted jello shots
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