Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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