I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
