She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
