If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
