don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
