I'm really into asian looking animals
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
