Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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