hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
