Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
