I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
