Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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