that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize