Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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