The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
