If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You're like the curious george of whores
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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