i'm lost and i look like a hooker
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
a search helicopter?!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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