He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
