Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
sex in a hospital.. check
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
