ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize