I will die if light touches me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
