There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
