I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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