Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
