Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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