I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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