do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
