I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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