I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
