Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
