I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
