If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
