just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
