My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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