Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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