somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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