When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
