You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
