oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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