Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Mom said you looked used
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
