Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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