Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
