There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
