she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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