She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
