i don't like sucking hair
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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