Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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