Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wish I only lived at night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize