Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
