Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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