A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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