We're facebook friends in real life
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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